Another Year, Another Rememberance Stone

²¹ And he said to the people of Israel, “When your children ask their fathers in times to come, ‘What do these stones mean?’ ²² then you shall let your children know, ‘Israel passed over this Jordan on dry ground.’ ²³ For the Lord your God dried up the waters of the Jordan for you until you passed over, as the Lord your God did to the Red Sea, which he dried up for us until we passed over, ²⁴ so that all the peoples of the earth may know that the hand of the Lord is mighty, that you may fear the Lord your God forever.” Joshua 4:21-24

Everyone knows the story of Moses and the Red Sea, but did you know God did the same thing a second time for Joshua and the Jordan? Oh, to fight our forgetfulness! 

Each year since God opened my heart and saved me by His grace in 2008, I've made an effort to fight forgetfulness by writing what God has revealed to me through the current year on a stone. I pray that I would never forget His lessons, and that it would heal my heart to fear the LORD! {fear of the Lord means to to have a reverential obedience and making God your only idol}

God's theme for me in 2013 was learning to treasure Christ. It was an amazing year of suffering, grace, mercy, healing, and eyes being opened. 

I've shared my struggle with contentment as a working mom previously, and in May 2013, God soften my heart and allowed me to be content with my circumstances. After becoming content, God revealed to me what He had been up to in my suffering through reading John. God revealed to me that He was not answering my prayer, and allowing me to suffer because He was healing my heart of my idol of money. Did you know that the sin that led to the betrayal of Jesus and resulted in the brutal death of Jesus was an idol of money?! Yep, Judas had been stealing money out of the offerings, and then on the night of the last supper, he betrayed Jesus for money. Judas loved money more than Jesus...and so do I. Convicting.

Suffering is a promise for all those that love and follow God. And I'm so thankful that God allowed me to suffer, and not let me chase after my idol. God is good, and God does good. Yes, even in suffering. 

Over the summer I began to pray for God to gently and mercifully remove my idol of money, and to heal my heart to love and treasure Christ more than money. I was scared out of my mind because I thought that God would heal my heart through even greater suffering. I was anticipating us losing our jobs, our house burning, and living on the streets. Why do I try to expect God's moves? Why do I always go to worst case scenario? God's heart is always on trial. 

God answered my prayer in September 2013 in a very unpredictable way. He blessed me with more money, a better working schedule, and new work responsibilities. What? I was completely shocked. Why would He bless me financially when my idol is money? 

There is so much more to the story of God's movement in my circumstances from giving me Mila, to suffering through an at risk pregnancy, kidney stones, employee chaos, and more. This past year was mixed with blessings and sufferings, and reflecting on this, God revealed to me His theme for this year.

Treasure Me, love Me. Not your circumstances, not your idols. Fear Me and Me alone. 

^"11 ...for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content. ¹² I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need. ¹³ I can do all things through him who strengthens me." Philippians 4:11-13

These verses are often misquoted. The promise isn't that I can do anything I set my mind to...if I dream I will get it...if I work hard my dreams will come true. NO! What Paul is saying is that his circumstances doesn't dictate his joy. Paul's ability to endure life, to do all things, is solely based on treasuring Christ. And, treasuring Christ produces fear of the Lord. That's Paul's strength. 

Oh, to be free from circumstances. Yes God, I see what 2013 was about. Learning to treasure Christ, whether in plenty, suffering, need, or abundance. 

Let this stone be a constant reminder. Let people ask me what these stones mean, so that every person knows the Lord is mighty and good, and all who hear should fear the LORD!

I'm Alive!

Hello, again!!! Yes, I'm alive!

I took the longest blogging break ever. And it was so needed! I gave up reading blogs for lent this past Easter, and I decided I needed to scale back a bit from social media. I was spending too much time on the internet and it was stealing my affections for Christ. I have a sinful bent towards jealousy and blogging wasn't helping that bent. 

I'm going to continue to blog again, but if it starts taking up too much time or causing me to be envious, then I'm shutting it down. 

Before I start back up, let's recap where the HEY HONK I've been with a few pictures!

Shake It Out

God's heart is always on trial. 

I was abiding in God through 1Kings when I stumbled across a troubling passage. It was the story of "The Old Prophet and the Man of God", where the man of God was told by the LORD to "not eat bread or drink water, or go back by the way he came". He was obedient until "the old prophet deceived him, and the man of God went back with him, ate bread in his house, and drank water." {1Kings 13:19} The old prophet deceived the man of God by lying and telling the man of God that an angel spoke to him and told him that he should go back with him and eat bread and drink water. {1Kings 13:18} When the man of God left the old prophet's home, he was killed by a lion. {1King 13:24} WHAT?? "He is the man of God who disobeyed the command of the LORD. The LORD has given him to the lion, and it has mauled him and killed him, according to the word of the LORD that He spoke to him." {1Kings 13: 26} 

This week is my one year anniversary of being a working momma. A somber anniversary. I have been reflecting on the past 365 days trying to understand what God has been up to in my working circumstances, my suffering. I realized during my reading of 1Kings 13 that my heart is bent on mistrusting God's heart. When God killed the man of God my heart screamed, "WHAT??". He was tricked, and the old prophet should have been killed instead. God's heart is immediately placed on trial. Is He good? Was killing the man of God good? A fog of doubt slowly rolled in.

I have been living in this fog for the past 365 days. What a gloomy way to live as a half hearted soul trying to see the larger story from a storm. Every day this week I've been asking myself, "why don't I trust God, why do I doubt, what do I believe about His heart, what is He up to in my suffering?". The truth is I question God's heart. Is God's heart really good? Does He really care about me?

Even writing my doubt brings me to an overflow of tears. Will God's heart always be on trial?

The other day, I was listening to a song {Shake It Out by Florence + the Machine} and God spoke to my heart through the chorus:

"Shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, ooh woaaah! Shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, shake it out, ooh woaaah! And it's hard to dance with a devil on your back So shake him off, oh woah!"

It's the fog of doubt that lingers on my back. It's the ancient lie that keeps rolling back. Yes, God I hear You! Shake it out indeed! The lies, the doubts, the lawyer that lives in my flesh that eagerly wants to prosecute God's heart on trial...shake it out. God help me shake it out, shake it out for me! Help my heart believe You are good and that You infinitely love me!

I want to dance with God, but I can't if I'm living in a fog of doubt. So I will search for His heart, shake off the lingering fog, hold on to the Truth, and abide in Him. If this anniversary of suffering continues, I pray that I can say I danced well. I suffered well, trusting my LORD and believing that His heart is good, and that He deeply loves me. Ooh woaaah! 

Learning to Trust

God's heart is good and He does good. I hope one day I will live from a heart that fully believes this truth.

The past couple of months have been hard. Really hard. I feel as though God has stopped listening to my prayers. My strength is fading after praying the same prayer for over 2 years now. There are no changes, but the same waiting. In this Christian life, we are promised suffering so I should not be surprised. What does surprise me, is how painful it hurts. My family is healthy, my child is alive, and I live in the suburbs, so I feel like a silly child voicing the pain. But this is my pain. My suffering. 

Since the moment we started trying to have a baby I prayed. "Lord, let me give birth to a healthy baby! Please allow me the privileged to be a mother, and help us financially so that I can be a stay-at-home-mom!" God chose to not answer the second part of the prayer, because He is good and He does good. {Lord, let my heart believe this TRUTH!}

God has been so gracious in providing a part-time job for me, so that I have the ability to contribute financially to our family and see my sweet boy during the day. The suffering is, I don't want to work. Bryan paid for 100% of his college, and I paid for 50% of my college...meaning we have student loans. We're in debt. Until we pay off our student loans, we cannot afford to lose my part-time income. 

My heart's desire is to have one job, not two. To be a mother {teacher, caregiver, wife, home organizer}. With two jobs {Mother + Director of Operations}, I feel like I can't do either well. The days that I feel like a successful mother {Caleb is learning, we've played together, dinner is made, the house is cleaned} are the days I'm late to work in the morning or missing a report. The days I'm a successful employee are the days that the house looks like a farm and Caleb is crying because dinner is an hour late {and it's pizza for the third time that week}. 

I live in constant chaos trying to balance work plus motherhood. I'm emotionally exhausted, and my heart grows tired of praying the same prayer. God rescue me from my self-inflicted financial mistakes! 

My heart cries a little more each time Caleb motions for his babysitter to pick him up instead of me. I'm thankful for MT loving my baby and caring for him while I work, but I long to be the only woman in my son's life.

I've held tight to God during the pain and the chaos, but I'm tired. I'm exhausted from the pain of unanswered prayers, and from the hot fire of refinement. I want my heart to believe the truth, and to treasure Christ, but the pain from sanctification born through suffering is a wearisome journey. 

I continue to seek His face through His Word, and when the flames feel as if the heat will overcome me, His Word gives me just enough water to survive.

"O Lord, how long shall I cry for help,
    and you will not hear?" Habakkuk 1:2

"Look among the nations, and see;
    wonder and be astounded.
For I am doing a work in your days
    that you would not believe if told." Habakkuk 1:5

Yes, the righteous person {like Habakkuk} trusts completely in the Lord, pleading for mercy and waiting patiently on the Lord. May God change my heart!

Jesus Centered Christmas Activity

My favorite Christ-centered Christmas activity is our Jesse Tree Activity! Yes, it's October and I'm talking about Christmas, but I have a very good reason. If you want to do this activity for Christmas you'll need plenty of time to prepare!!

Three years ago, I was looking for a gospel-centered activity to incorporate into our Christmas advent tradition. That's when I found "Jesse Tree Ornaments". The ornament activity can either be done daily during the entire 40-day Advent celebration, or shortened to 25 days. I chose the 25 day Jesse Tree Activity, so that I could turn the ornaments into an Advent Calendar.

How the "Jesse Tree Activity" works:

• Make 25 ornaments and decide how to display them
• Each ornament represents a character from the Bible and has a correlating Scripture
• Each day you take an ornament and read the daily scripture {we do this as a family after dinner}
• After reading the verse, hang the ornament on a Christmas Tree {we have a mini-tree set aside just for our "Jesse Tree"}

Why we love the "Jesse Tree Activity":

• It's a Christ-centered daily activity!
• It walks through scripture from the Old and New Testament, that shows God's sovereignty and how the plan from the beginning was always Jesus {the gift of salvation through faith in Jesus}
• It makes Christmas more than just a day, but a 25 day celebration! Doesn't Jesus deserve that?!

This year I added something new to the Jesse Tree Activity...The Jesus Storybook Bible!
I LOVE reading God's Word from Caleb's Jesus Storybook Bible, so I created an updated version of this activity by using daily readings from the Jesus Storybook Bible. 

I highly encourage you to give this gospel-centered Advent activity a try this Christmas, so I'm giving you the ability to download everything for FREE! Let me know if you try it and what you think!! 

Jesse Tree Activity Schedule {daily readings, ornaments}:

Download for FREE here

Jesse Tree Activity using The Jesus Storybook Bible {not every verse is found in the Jesus Storybook Bible, so you'll need to use your personal Bible as well}:

Download for FREE here

Ordering Pre-Made Ornaments:

• email Larry Lindahl at: llindahl@cableusa.com, with the subject "Jesse Tree Ornaments", for a set of 25 unfinished wood ornaments {this is who I used, and then painted the ornaments myself--$15/set}
• visit Larry Lindahl Woodcrafts' store {you might recognize him from the Martha Stewart show}

  Linked with: Tatertots and Jello, Hey Mommy, Chocolate Milk, Positively Splendid

Growing in Fear of the LORD!

"The fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom,
    and the knowledge of the Holy One is insight." Proverbs 9:10

"He will be the sure foundation for your times,
    a rich store of salvation and wisdom and knowledge;
    the fear of the Lord is the key to this treasure." Isaiah 33:6

"The fear of the Lord means reverent submission that leads to obedience, and it is interchangeable with 'worship,' 'rely on,' 'trust,' and 'hope in.'" Edward T. Welch

I was searching through all my sermon notes from church today, and I found my notes from a sermon titled "Delighting in the Fear of the Lord". Guess the date of this sermon? October 3, 2010. Oh yes, God just did that! This was God's way of confirming to me all that He's been revealing through 1 and 2 Samuel. God is so playful with me!

This is hysterical because as I've been abiding in God through 1 and 2 Samuel, God has been laying on my heart that everything can be broken down into 2 categories: you either fear the Lord or you fear something else {fear of man}.

I've recently shared my personal sin with fear of man, and lately I've been stressed as a new parent about how I will parent Caleb. How will I mold Caleb's heart to love God, to trust Him, to not rebel? How do I parent Caleb to be a man of great faith, and a man after God's heart??

 This is what God has said while I've been asking Him to heal my fear of man, and guide me as a parent:

David Loves People Well:

*2 Samuel 1:12--David wept, fasted, and mourned for both Saul and Jonathan's death!

*2 Samuel 1:19-27--David sings a song about Saul and Jonathan and makes everyone learn it! He really loved Saul.

*2 Samuel 2:5-6--David BLESSES them because they showed kindness to Saul!

*2 Samuel 4:10-11--David loves his enemies well!

Fear of the LORD:

*2 Samuel 6:7 "and God struck him dead on the spot for his irreverence"

*2 Samuel 6:9 "David feared the LORD that day and said, 'How can the ark of the LORD ever come to me?'"

The sermon on "Delighting in the fear of the Lord" says, "The fear of the Lord is the awe and wonder that is demonstrated by humble submission to, unconditional trust in, and sincere obedience to the sovereign rule of God." Yes! That's why David can love Saul and his enemies well, because he fears the LORD! David can love the people that try to KILL him, because he worships and trusts God!  

"And do not fear those who kill the body but cannot kill the soul. Rather fear him who can destroy both soul and body in hell." Matthew 10:28

Did you see 2 Samuel 6:7, "God struck him dead...for his irreverence."? Fear of the LORD is serious to God. God loves to display His Holy love and Holy justice, and invites us to know His true heart, so I should be in awe of how David loves well, and I should be scared out of my mind when God justly kills someone for his irreverence. This awe and fear should produce action, an action of worship, trust, and hope in God. So why am I lacking in action??

If I want to parent Caleb well, and if I want God to heal my fear of man sin, then I must grow in the fear of the LORD! Only then, can I parent and teach Caleb to do the same. Teaching fear of the Lord is the key to good parenting. 

And so, I press on abiding in God through sitting alone at His feet asking Him to reveal Himself through His Word, and praying that He would give me a fierce heart that fears Him alone. That's my prayer for you too.

"The key to learning the fear of the Lord is to stay in scripture. When you are in scripture, pray that God would teach you that he is the Holy One."

"The triune God delights in showing us his grandeur and holiness, and we should never be satisfied with our present knowledge of him. So aspire to the fear of the Lord."--Edward T. Welch, "When People are Big and God is Small" 

linking up at:

Counting to One Thousand Gifts

"Give thanks to the LORD, for he is good, for his steadfast love endures forever!" Psalm 107:1

^"For from him and through him and to him are all things. To him be glory forever. Amen." Romans 11:36

"He is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn of all creation.  For by him all things were created, in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rulers or authorities—all things were created through him and for him." Colossians 1:15

I began this journey to count to One Thousand Gifts, to tune my heart to God's sovereignty in the naming of daily thanks. The difficulty in this journey, is the practice of putting pen to paper...the recording of thanks. Yes, God is good! God is good and He does good in blessings and sufferings, so why do I fail to daily record my thanks? 

No matter how much time has past in writing my thanks, I will continue to press on because I need it. My heart needs it. Who knew that the simplicity of giving thanks would open the eyes of my heart to see and believe that God is good and He does good! 

And so, I press on.

Counting to One Thousand Gifts:

94. playroom

95. baby toys

96. bad day at work

97. for a friend to listen

98. for prayer and tears

99. boy mommas

100. Sarah and new adventures

101. Caleb's slobbery kisses

102. game night with hubby

103. cheating at Uno

104. Psalm

105. tears and prayers

106. a loving husband

107. a God that speaks

108. morning worship

109. a friend's prayer

110. Bryan's lunch time call

111. Elmo

112. Bible study nights

113. women's heart for God

114. a yellow moon that looks like a banana

115. a caring husband

116. girls weekend

117. sorority sistas and lifelong friends

118. gaylord getaway

119.  good seafood

120. remembering college days

121. waterpark fun

122. new keurig for free

123. sick baby

124. baby daddy who helps

125. crockpot dinners

126. cleaning house

127. doing laundry

128. my owl collection

129. holiday weekends

130. visits with family

131. antibiotics

132. Bryan taking care of Caleb

133. sister helping when I'm sick

134. BFF surprise visits

135. Jesus healing

136. Harry Potter and BFF time

137. my boss

138. paid holidays

139. a God who hears our cries

140. an email with good news

141. my sweet baby boy

142. a caring husband that lets me sleep in

143. Bryan doing the morning feeding

144. a canceled work day

145. a good babysitter

146. toll tags

147. finishing work early

148. reading others' 1,000 thanks

149. cuddles with Caleb

150. Bryan

151. naptime

152. nice weather

153. a walk to the pond

154. house alarm

155. Bryan cleaning the house

  {my complete thank you list here}

Linking up to:
Thankful Thursdays at The Fontenot Four
Thankful Thursdays at First Day of My Life
 Thankful Thursday at Kate Says Stuff
 Thankful Thursday at Black Tag Diaries
Thankful Thursday at Brown Eyed Bell(e) 
a punk, a pumpkin, and a peanut
a Day in the Life of the Railings

Fear of Man

"The fear of man lays a snare,
    but whoever trusts in the Lord is safe." Proverbs 29:25

A few years ago, I heard the term "fear of man" in a service at The Village Church, and I had NO idea what they were talking about. Are you asking yourself "what the hey-honk is fear of man"??

Let me borrow Edward T. Welch's definition of the biblical term "fear of man" from his book, When People are Big and God is Small:

"..the fear of man can be summarized this way: We replace God with people. Instead of a biblically guided fear of the Lord, we fear others. Of course, the 'fear of man' goes by other names. When we are in our teens, it is called 'peer pressure'. When we are older, it is called 'people-pleasing'. Recently, it has been called 'codependency'."

Here is a list of "symptoms" that Edward gives for "fear of man": "struggle with peer pressure, over-committed (hard to say no to things), you 'need' something from your spouse, self-esteem is a critical concern, you feel you might be exposed as an imposter, you second-guess decisions because of what people might think, you feel empty or meaningless, you get easily embarrassed, you tell white lies, you're jealous of others, other people often make you angry or depressed, you avoid people, you diet (the desire for the praise of men), you compare yourself to others (even if you feel more successful than others)."

Now, that you know what I'm talking about, I can share how God has been convicting me of my "fear of man" issues through 1 Samuel. I literally have a list of over 20 verses that I highlighted during this bible study, but these were the "big" ones that God used to convict me of my "fear of man":

**And the Lord said to Samuel, “Obey the voice of the people in all that they say to you, for they have not rejected you, but they have rejected me from being king over them. 1Sam. 8:7

 

 **If you will fear the Lord and serve him and obey his voice and not rebel against the commandment of the Lord, and if both you and the king who reigns over you will follow the Lord your God, it will be well.  But if you will not obey the voice of the Lord, but rebel against the commandment of the Lord, then the hand of the Lord will be against you and your king. 1Sam. 12:14-15

**And Saul was very angry, and this saying displeased him. He said, “They have ascribed to David ten thousands, and to me they have ascribed thousands, and what more can he have but the kingdom?” And Saul eyed David from that day on. 1Sam. 18:8-9

The Israelites demanded that Samuel provided a king to reign over them, because they wanted to be like the other nations. Fear of man! The Israelites rejected God, and chose to idolize man and the other nations that they so desperately wanted to be like. Fear of Man! Samuel warned the people "fear the LORD and serve him and obey his voice...or else...the hand of the LORD will be against you and your king", but the Israelites didn't care. They chose a king over God. Fear of man! Saul is jealous of an Israelite song because it makes David look better than him...seriously??? A song creates jealousy and then Saul ends up hating and chasing David...he wants to kill David over a song?!?! Fear of man to the highest power!

And every time I read a verse like the ones above, I felt God say "this is you, you are like Saul". Yes, I fear man more than I fear the Lord. God has been working on my heart with this issue for the past year and a half, but has been heavily convicting me of this sin through 1 Samuel.

It's time to fear the Lord, to serve Him, to worship Him alone. Period. May He forgive me and heal me out His mercy and grace.

"Thus says the Lord:
“Cursed is the man who trusts in man
    and makes flesh his strength,^[a]
    whose heart turns away from the Lord.
⁶  He is like a shrub in the desert,
     and shall not see any good come.
He shall dwell in the parched places of the wilderness,
    in an uninhabited salt land.

⁷  “Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord,
     whose trust is the Lord.
⁸  He is like a tree planted by water,
    that sends out its roots by the stream,
and does not fear when heat comes,
    for its leaves remain green,
and is not anxious in the year of drought,
    for it does not cease to bear fruit.”

Jer. 17:5-8 

linking up at:

Counting to One Thousand Gifts

I first told you why I was counting to One Thousand Gifts here, because of Ann's beautiful book One Thousand Gifts, given to me by a sweet friend.

"for I have learned in whatever situation I am to be content.  I know how to be brought low, and I know how to abound. In any and every circumstance, I have learned the secret of facing plenty and hunger, abundance and need." {Phil. 4:11-13} Yes, Paul says here that he learned how to be content...whether his situation was awful or if life was perfect at the moment. These words use to haunt me. I couldn't relate to Paul even though I desperately wanted to. 

 Each day I try to count, and name my thank yous to God. The "every day" blessings that I've been previously blinded to. Nothing has changed in the Big K life, our situation is still the same, God hasn't answered our prayer from here, but something in my heart has started to change. This daily practicing of naming my blessings and thanks for both the good and the bad has started to lift the scales off my eyes, and is giving me the lenses to see clearly. I'm beginning to be content. Yes Paul, it is something to be learned. My foundation is my walk with God and abiding in His Word, and with the giving thanks and abiding in God...well...it is bringing heart change. 

Thanks Ann, and thanks Kate for that book.

My List Continues to One Thousand Gifts: 

49. chick-fil-a

50. family visits

51. yummy food

52. baby dedication

53. Christian community--great friends

54. hubby taking care of me when sick

55. 1 Samuel and God's Word

56. Ariel throwing up

57. for being sick

58. for magical antibiotics

59. to send a text to my doc for meds

60. for long naps for CK so I can sleep

61. fairytales

62. for having to clean the house

63. friends and fireworks

64. pool days

65. days off work

66. wurprise gaylord staycation

67. beeritas! yum!

68. babysitter (free)

69. tex-mex food

70. waterpark adventures

71. acting like a kid

72. fun in the sun with just Bryan

73. bryan and his romantic weekend

74. movie night outs

75. out of town family visits

76. tx bbq

77. friends and laughs

78. washer machine

79. free stuff from Amazon!

80. crafting time

81. monograms

82. a loving and kind husband

83. my babysitting sista!

84. free Enfamil =)

85. movie with friends

86. watching caleb crawl and pull up for the first time with Bryan

87. Missa

88. 1Samuel

89. free Mi Cocina

90. awkward lunch with doctors

91. more free Enfamil

92. phone conversations

93. working from home

  {my complete thank you list here}

Linking up to:
Thankful Thursdays at The Fontenot Four
Thankful Thursdays at First Day of My Life
 Thankful Thursday at Kate Says Stuff
 Thankful Thursday at Black Tag Diaries
Thankful Thursday at Brown Eyed Bell(e) 
a punk, a pumpkin, and a peanut
a Day in the Life of the Railings

Abiding in God

Have you heard about "Into the Word Wednesday" in the blogging world?? I think this is one of the BEST blog link-up ideas! I decided to join in the fun today, by sharing what God has been revealing to me through His Word lately.

As most of my friends know, I've been doing How to Study the Bible {"HTSTB", a Bible study} since 2009 at The Village Church. Originally, I only joined this bible study group because my home group leader kept asking me to come and check it out. BOY, did God have a plan! I immediately fell in love. The group's devotion is to practice and apply Matt Chandler's HTSTB method, to learn how to "feed" yourself {not rely on a pastor, study guide, or theology books}, walk with God, and learn about God's heart and character. It's how I abide in God.

Since June, we've been walking through 1Samuel and God has been continually repeating the same themes to me. 

God is good and He does good=God's Sovereignty

*1:5 "the LORD had kept her {Hannah} from conceiving"

*2:25 "but they would not listen to their father, since the LORD intended to kill them"

*3:18 "He is the LORD. He will do what He thinks is good."

*4:10-11 "30,000 of the Israelite foot soldiers fell"

*7:2 "then the whole house of Israel began to seek the LORD."

*15:2-3 "Do not spare them, but kill both man and woman, child and infant"

  

These are just a few of the verses that God revealed to me. This is God's sovereignty: God keeping Hannah from getting pregnant, God intending to kill people, God allowing 30,000+ of His own people to be killed, God commanding His people to kill their enemy's women, children, and babies...and this is good? God is good in this?? YES!!

How can these horrible things be good...the killing of children...Hannah's infertility? I am forever indebted to John Piper and his book Spectacular Sins for unpacking this truth:

"He is the image of the invisible God, the firstborn of all creation.  For by him all things were created, in heaven and on earth, visible and invisible, whether thrones or dominions or rulers or authorities—all things were created through him and for him." Colossians 1:15-16 "All that came into being exists for Christ--that is, everything exists to display the greatness of Christ. [...]from the greatest saint to the most wicked genocidal dictator--everything that exists, exists to make the greatness of Christ more fully known..." {John Piper}

As Christians, we know God is sovereign. He is in control, but do we trust Him? I don't. This is still my greatest struggle. When I watch my closest friends go through infertility and miscarriages, when I watch the news at night full of violence and death, when I struggle with understanding why there is sin in the world {and Satan} and why God just doesn't get rid of it all...I turn to Colossians 1:15-16, it's for God's glory. God is good and He does good! 

After every "hard" verse in 1Samuel, I wrote in my journal "God is good, and He does good!". My hope is, one day I will live from a heart that fully believes and knows how good God is and how He does good, always. Then, and only then, will I trust Him.

"Blessed is the man who trusts in the Lord,
     whose trust is the Lord.
⁸  He is like a tree planted by water,
    that sends out its roots by the stream,
and does not fear when heat comes,
    for its leaves remain green,
and is not anxious in the year of drought,
    for it does not cease to bear fruit.”

Jer. 17:7-8

Caleb's Dedication

"I prayed for this child, and the Lord has granted me what I asked of him. So now I give him to the Lord. For his whole life he will be given over to the Lord." 1 Samuel 1:27-28

 Most churches {well, most Baptist churches} have baby dedication ceremonies during church service at the member's church, however, The Village Church does things a little different. {I'm not saying it's better, it's just different.} The Village takes Biblical community serious, and therefore a lot of church "things" {including baby dedications} are done within our home groups {our small Biblical community, Acts 2:42-47, Hebrews 3:12-13, 1 Corinthians 12:12-31}. It makes our massive church seem small and intimate. We know each other well, love each other, and walk with God together. It's beautiful.

What's a baby dedication? This is how our church explains it:

"Your child's dedication to the Lord is a celebration with your community of a commitment made before the Lord. This is a commitment by the parents to raise the child in the ways of the Lord, but this is NOT in any way a statement of salvation for your child. Just as in other areas of life, walking in this commitment can not be done alone. It requires the help of others. For this reason you are to call upon the community of believers around you to help and hold you accountable to this dedication."

So, we met in a home as the Church body with our home group/Biblical community, where each family made a public promise to raise their children in a gospel-centered home.

My parents came in town at the last minute and were able to watch our public commitment!

We had a worship service led by some talented folks {and host home}...

...our home group leaders led the dedication...

...and one by one, we made these promises: 

{Dads}:

Do you promise to love the Lord deeply and teach your child Truth that leads to awe, worship and praise?

Do you promise to not provoke your child to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord?

{Dads}:

Do you promise to be the spiritual leader for your family, teaching them how a Godly man treats his wife, children and community and to daily pray for and with them?

{Moms}:

Do you promise to not underestimate your child’s ability to understand Scripture and their ability to worship?

 

{Moms}:

Do you promise to love and cherish your child as an example of the way Christ loves and cherishes us?

Do you promise to be the spiritual encourager for your family, teaching them how a Godly woman treats her husband, child and community and to daily pray for and with them?

{Parents}:

Do you promise to daily acknowledge that your child belongs first and foremost to the Lord?

Do you promise to daily give your child back to the Lord and acknowledge His sovereignty over their lives?

{Parents}:

Do you promise to not expect perfection but to encourage them to always do their best?

{Parents}:

Do you promise to daily be engaged and not just present in your home and in your child’s life?

{Parents}:

Do you promise to never give up on your role as mom and dad?

{Community}:

As a community of believers, do you promise to consistently pray for these parents to be the moms and dads that God created them to be?

{Community}:

Do you promise to hold them accountable to the commitments they made today and to challenge them when they are falling short?

{Community}:

Do you promise to consistently encourage them in their roles as parents and to celebrate victories together?

{Community}:

Do you promise to consistently pray for these children, that they will know Jesus and be doers of the Word and not just hearers?

I loved officially saying these promises, and I'm so glad my family made a quick trip to be there. It was a very special day in the Big K Fam!